Owen and Gracie

Adjusting to our new life.

Yes...I feel like I am already slacking in the blog world. It has been over a week since my last post. It is hard to find time to even get to the computer these days. Gracie had her Dr. appointment last week... all tests are good, except she had giardia. We completed her course of Flagyll on Wednesday. We will check again in one month. She is just a joy... we are so happy. We call her "doodie". This started from all her poops she had early on. We would ask her if she went doodie. So she now has gotten the name of doodie or dooders. She is getting so big. She likes to eat every 3 max of 4 hours and is taking 6 ounces at a clip. We started cereal last week and added green beans this week. She has not been real keen with this but is starting to accept her food. We had to do the cereal in the mouth and then stick the bottle in her mouth as soon as possible trick. I recall doing this with Owen. She is smiling and babbling and grabbing for everything. The kids love her and are great with her. Wyatt is learning to read and read his first book to me without my help a couple of nights ago. This is my first born baby reading!! I can't believe it. I am so proud of him.

Born to Love

...one thing about a baby, is that each step of the way, you simply cannot imagine loving her any more than you already do, because you are bursting with love, loving as much as you are humanly capable of, and then you do, you love her even more. (Anne Lamott)

Our week in Ethiopia with Gracie.

The week was filled with activities and down time. The time really did fly by. Sitting here now, I can't believe it is over. Of course our jouney has just begun, but all the planning, paperwork, praying, waiting, visiting blogs to try to figure out the approximate time we might travel.......that is over. The anticipation is over. In most ways I am very glad for that but in some ways am sad. I think it's the same feeling I had sitting in the whirlpool tub at the hospital after delivering my boys and running my hand over my belly, knowing I was not pregnant anymore. Life is made up of moments, these are the moments....the feelings I will never forget.
Let me first say that Hannah's Hope is wonderful ( I think as wonderful as a transition home can be). That is all because of Almaz. She has dedicated her life to these children and she really does consider them her children. She is so easy to talk to, so knowledgable and understanding. She has such a strong sense of self and I aspire to be like her. She runs a tight ship. The special mothers are caring and loving to the children. I thought they did a great job. The home is decorated nicely. It was great fun to play with the older children. I played volleyball with the older girls and John played soccer with the boys. One day I couldn't find John...and then one of the kids told me he was eating with the toddlers. Sure enough, there he was sitting on a toddler chair, at the toddler's table, eating Injera with the kids.
We went to Habesha... a great restaurnat with great Injera...twice. They had some dancers and singers doing native dancing. The women were beautiful... I'll post a pic. I wish I could have gotten just a head shot with them looking right at the camera. I have to say that the women of Ethiopia are some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen and I am not just saying that because my daughter is Ethiopian. I find it funny that our Lonely Planet, Ethiopia, books cover page shows 2 men with paint on their faces and barely clothed. I think a lot of people think that this is what people look like in Africa. Almaz said National Geographic goes and finds the remotest tribal people and then photgraphs them. This is not what people in Addis look like. They are just like us.
We went shopping...we got coffee, and I got a scarf, tapesty, bracelet and cross and a bowl with Mary painted in it for Gracie. We bought the boys spacesuits from the Smithsonian store at the Dullas Airport in D.C. They love them... I think they'll use them more than any souvenier I could have found in Addis. We got Casey some colorful rocks from the Smithsonian and a bracelet from Addis.
Almaz sent us to the Hilton on our last day for a massage. 45 minutes for about 12 dollars. It was great. A bit immodest but great. They massage your front and back...of course avoiding the taboo areas.
We basically spent our days partially at Hannah's Hope, then some activity, then some time at the hotel. Gracie slept in the Moses basket that Almaz let us use while at our Hotel. She slept in the closet for some of the night. (It's a large closet and the doors were open) otherwise John and I would have had to be up with all the lights off.
The embassy appointment was on day 2. Seemed kind of funny that the whole appointment took about 5 minutes. All the work.....for 5 minutes. Oh well, It was fine.
The day we left was hard. I think Almaz tried to make it easier by not having us say good by to the staff and kids. The special mothers had already been crying during the week knowing Gracie was leaving. She thought saying good by would just bring on more tears. She was right. It was hard to see the older children as we first walked into Hannah's Hope. I am sure they are dissapointed when most of the people come to adopt the babies. I so would like to adopt an older child. We are already thinking about this.
How fortunate we have been to have been led to adoption. From the start of this tiny soul to the reality of bringing her home.
She has truly changed us all. We have returned different people. Not only because of her, but the people and places we have met and gone because of her. Africa, Ethiopia, the special mothers, Danny and Welde, Almaz, and the children of Hannah's Hope. They have all changed us as well. Love really is the answer. We're here only to teach love. When we're doing that, our souls are singing and dancing (Gerald Jampolsky M.D.)

Gracie

How small. How beautiful. Whatever happens in the years to come. This is perfection. This is love.

Gracie

Small child---once you were a hope, a dream. Now you are reality. Changing all that is to come. So small. A flick of star stuff. A mind to touch the edges of the universe. A love to hold our hearts forever.

The day we met Gracie----January 7, 2008

It was Christmas Day in Ethiopia...how perfect. We got in late Sunday night and checked in to the Union Hotel. After unpacking we tried to get some sleep. There was a rooster crowing most of the night across the street from us. I think he was a bit confused. We woke up, ate breakfast with Tim and Michelle, a couple from Ohio who had met their son the day before, and headed over to Hannah's Hope. The walk was through a side street lined with rubble. We rang the bell and were greeted by many smiling faces. We met Almaz ( the most wonderful woman...smart, funny, loving,) and walked into her office. We walked by children in their exersaucers and I thought " one of these children is my daughter". They were not. She came in with Martha, our Gracie and we were overcome with emotion. She was beautiful !!!! Yes, this was her. She looked the same, yet very different. She did not smile at us but had more of fearful look. I was initially very worried about this because so many of the other children would smile just looking at them and smiling. It is amazing what a couple of days can do. Almaz explained to us that even though they do get the very best care they are able to do, it still does not replace 24/7 care and attention. She was right of course. She is smiling and babbling now whenever we look at her.

We Are on Our Way to Ethiopia!!--January 5, 2008

We really didn't get too nervous about packing. I started with lists for Gracie and that was really all I was concerned about. We would somehow manage fine. I put up the listing of donations from Julie for Hannah's Hope at work and I easily got my 50 lbs of donations. John and I packed all our things in his backpack. (This is a big backpack.) Gracie had another suitcase, and we had one donation suitcase. We also brought a stroller that we gait checked. In hind sight I really think we did a great job of packing. What I brought was 3 pair of Capri's, 3 long and 3 short sleeved shirts, and I wore jeans on the plane. That's it...except toiletries items. I left most of my clothes in Ethiopia...it made the travel back less bulky. I wore the same Capri's more than one day... I really don't think anyone cared. Even though so many said not to bring a stroller, I was glad we brought one. We used it at the Union Hotel and pushed her around the lobby... a bit outside and put her in it while we ate. We also had layovers in the airports coming home and it was great to have our hands free. We used our baby bjorn too but the stroller was nice. It is true you cannot use it at all on the streets of Ethiopia. If you stay at the Hilton I would definitely recommend one. We stayed at the Union but went for a massage at the Hilton...they have grounds to walk. For meds we brought levaquin, reglan, pepto, immodium,advil... we needed none. For Gracie we brought tylenol, saline nasal drops, bulb syringe (she had a cold..I am an expert booger sucker), gas drops, Nestle good start supreme formula. No need to bring lice or scabies meds...unless you want to donate to the government run orphanage. We were not advised to and did not take any malaria drugs. Oh..we did pack some comfort foods but gave most of them to Almaz. Some we gave to people on the street as they came to the van. My husband and Almaz found it especially funny when I gave them my protein bars (southbeach diet)...."Here you go....here is a diet bar." Oh well, it is good protein. One more thing...remember to bring dish soap. You will need to wash bottles in your hotel room.

Our Referral of Martha, October 29,2007

I came home from work around 5 pm only to know I was helping out in the E.R. that night from 6p-12a. I essentially came home to get a bite to eat and to shower. I knew something was up when the phone rang and John got a big grin on his face and told me to answer the phone. I told him to but he persisted and I saw the caller ID was AGCI...my heart started racing and my voice was shaking. It was Julie telling us to go to our computer....we had our referral of our daughter. Her name was Martha and she was born on September 13th. We got on line and saw all her bio info pop up first as we slowly scrolled down to what we new were pictures of her. We were nervous..you know.....loving this soul that has been out in the universe now has a picture. We didn't want to admit it but lets be honest...we were really hoping she was cute! The first picture we saw was of her crying. It demonstrated the power of one very small child...Then we saw the others. We fell in love with her all over again. Isn't she wonderful??!!
Then came the scrutinizing. My husband and I are in the medical field and we....I should say I....scanned over every portion of the pictures. What is this? Why is this like that? It wasn't as if we would ever decline our referral...she was already ours since the second we laid eyes on her. But more trying to prepare ourselves for anything. I noticed one of her eye's was off a bit and her tongue was partially out of her mouth on a couple pics. My mind started wondering what any on this could mean. Then our pediatrician saw the pics and picked out the eye problem which might be strabismus...according to him. Then he commented on her "protuberant tongue" and some white spots on her face. But he didn't think it was "tuberous sclerosis". What!!! as if I was thinking of any of this. The fear of not being sure about any of this is scary. But we are never guaranteed anything in this life so we were prepared for anything. We even contacted a pediatric ophthalmologist about the eye thing to see if we should be doing anything about it right now, at Hannah's Hope. Turns our she was and is perfect... She has no problem with her eye, she does not have a protuberant tongue and the white spots on her face are barely noticeable and our black friends here have them too. No worries.

Our Ethiopian Adoption Journey (in a nutshell)

We started our Ethiopian adoption process in May of 2007. Since we had already gone through one home study previously and had some experience in getting the dossier in order, we moved pretty quickly. By the time Lifelink completed our homestudy we had pretty much all of our paper work ready. We submitted everything to AGCI and things went fast although never quite fast enough for us. Our dossier was sent in August and we were officially on the waiting list for a 1-12 month Ethiopian Princess at the end of August. We received our referral for our beautiful daughter on October 29th. Martha. AGCI received our acceptance documents on November 8. We got our travel dates on December 19th....What a great Christmas present. We traveled on January 5th and returned with Gracie Martha on January 11.
Here starts our new life as a family of 6. We are so thankful and blessed.

Our decision to adopt.

We first looked into adoption after my hysterectomy....I became obsessed with the fact that I could not biologically have anymore children and knew I wanted at least one more. I also felt a calling....that perhaps I couldn't change the world but could change the life of one child. We initially decided on Guatemala as the country we would adopt from and started the process about 2 years ago. We had actually finished our home study and then put the adoption on hold. We felt as if we rushed our decision. We knew we still wanted to adopt but not just yet. The boys were 3 and 2 and although I wanted the kids ages to be close together... I felt like I would not be able to handle another child and give all our children the attention they deserved. How could I add another child to our family when I was just staying afloat handling the ones we already had? We were saddened to stop it but knew it was best for everyone. Fast forward 2 years....still thinking of adopting from Guatemala, we traveled to Guatemala City with Cross Cultural Solutions. We toured Antigua and Guatemala City and volunteered at the government orphanage. It was a wonderful experience. Bittersweet... Seeing families in the city fostering their infant children really made me want to start the process again. However, after talking to our director at our homebase,,,who was from Guatemala and after learning of some of the corruption in the adoption process here, my husband did not feel comfortable adopting from Guatemala. I was a little reluctant myself but John said he would not adopt from Guatemala...at least not an infant. After coming home.. we researched different countries and decided on Ethiopia. John was initially full steam ahead but I had some reservation. My biggest fear was that our daughter would be a teenager and look at us and feel different. I feared because of our difference in race... she would feel like she didn't fit in and that she would be angry that we took her from her homeland and people. I have read how so many people think these children should be so grateful to have been adopted but the adoptees don't always feel this way. They didn't ask to be adopted. After long thought and much research I realized this would be a learning process for us all and that through education, honesty, respect and love we would somehow make it work and we would all be better for it. I think we somehow put more pressure on ourselves to be sure everything turns out perfect for our adopted children. Enter All God's Children International Adoption.

Getting everyone up to speed. Our life before adoption.

Being new to the blog world I am not really sure how people start one. I think what I'll do is start from the beginning and bring people up to speed on our life. I want to get to our Ethiopian adoption but I feel like I need to start chronologically. For those of you who know us...this is just a recap. I'll make this short and sweet. I have been fortunate enough to have married the most wonderful man in the world. A person who shares the same hopes and dreams as I do and who supports me in whatever I do. He is truly a selfless person and I admire him immensely. He really makes me want to be a better person. Having him in my life would have been enough. He came to our relationship with a 2 year old daughter, Cassandra. Fortunately for me, her mother has allowed our relationship to be a great one. She truly wants the best for "our" daughter and has always been very supportive of our relationship. We are actually pretty good friends. Our first child, Wyatt, was born in 2001 and his brother Owen was born in 2003. They are 13 months apart and are the best of friends and the worst of enemies. I always thought I would "plan" my pregnancies. Being that I was 30 when we were married and we both were in the medical field...we would get the ovulation kits and plan everything out. Well, both children were wanted but not planned. My coworkers kidded me that "You do know how children are conceived?" Everything happens for a reason. You see, my mother died of ovarian cancer when I was 21. She was 44. Three of her sisters have been diagnosed with breast cancer. Two have sadly died at very young ages and one is doing great in her 50's. They knew there was some kind of genetic problem in our family and much testing was done. The genetic problem was found, my sister and I were tested and she tested negative and I tested positive for BRCA1. This dramatically increased my risk for breast and ovarian cancer. I was tested when Wyatt was 2 and Owen was 1. Knowing I had the gene, I made the decision to to have some prophylactic surgeries and in the process had a complete hysterectomy at 33. The decision was easy for me. I had to stay alive for my kids. We had 3 beautiful children and had always talked about adoption...that would be our plan if we decided we wanted to add to our family. Fast forward nearly 4 years.....Cassandra is almost 11, Wyatt is 6 and Owen is almost 5. More on these kiddo's later.

Starting Our Blog-January 13, 2007

I have wanted to start a blog for some time now. Some way to chronologically journal our life as a family. Had I been spending time working on this blog as much as I've spent time reading other families blogs I'd be up to speed. Maybe it's that I have never been a very good writer. My sister got that gene. Or the fact that I feel like I don't have enough time to start one. But now that I have some time off from work we are challenging ourselves to get caught up on our pictures, home movies, and blog site. Yes, you have to start somewhere and today is the day. This is the first day of our family blog.